What do you choose?
August 27, 2009Because you are free to choose, how do you decide what to choose?
The choices you make dictate your future, the quality of your life, your relationships, your well-being, your wealth and health and possibly how long you live. Making your choices is THE MOST IMPORTANT task you have. So how do you decide what to choose?
Tips on how to choose:
1. Choose life! When you make a choice ask yourself what choice most serves and supports life. What is life-supporting adds to life …. your life and the lives of others. What you will find is that when you support life, life supports you. I will share an example. When I moved from New Zealand to Finland I decided it would be best if my children could enjoy the company of their Finnish grandparents because my parents were no longer here. Any thought of a career was put behind me. Within days of arriving in Finland my wife talked with the woman who owned a cafe. She said her son was studying international business; a subject I was interested in. I spoke to him and got the name of his university. Then spoke with the dean who arranged for me to meet the head of the business studies faculty. He said “we need a native English speaker in leadership. Would you be interested in lecturing on that subject?” Of course I said “yes”. “There’s a problem. The students are not interested and only half turn up.” “No problem” I replied and left to go to the main book shop to select a book on leadership to study. A week later I was lecturing. A week after that the class was full and the lectures were rated by the students as the best they had attended.
2. What choice best adds to my happiness? Your mind, heart and body is one intelligence sensitive to what is best for you. When you face a choice between two or more alternatives consider each alternative and ask your self “does this add to my happiness?”. Sense the reactions in your heart and body. The choice best for you is the one where you feel a sense of fulfillment and increased happiness. It could be called your intuitive sense. Even though the choice you make may not appear rational or sensible you will invariably find that it was the best choice for you at that time. Try this in simple ways first developing and trusting your ability to make the right choices. It is a skill you can easily develop and is a skill used by many, such as business leaders, who are making big decisions.
3. Observe the outcomes of your choices. Although we may think we make our choices on clear rational grounds, many of our choices are driven by our sub-conscious urges that we are unaware of. The outcomes of your choices will inform you about the nature of the inner urges that caused you to make the choice you did. You may find you have a pattern of making choices that are not good for you. For example, you may have noticed that sometimes women who are in relationship with alcoholics leave their relationships only to go into relationships with other alcoholics. Once you are aware of your inner urges you can change your choices to be more beneficial. Later I will explain ways to do that.
4. Sometimes it is better not to choose. Instead you may rather not do anything when faced with a problem. Why? A new manager of the subsidiary of one of the world’s largest companies realised the previous manger was always solving problems. No sooner had he solved one problem, another would pop up. As he observed this, he realised that the manager’s solutions would often be the cause of new problems. When he took over as manager, he decided not to solve problems but rather wait to let the problems solve themselves. Only, if they did not, would he intervene and often only to ask those who were most affected what they considered the most appropriate course of action.
5. Choose not to do harm to others. This is similar to No 1 and relates to No 2. You will find by choosing not to harm or hurt others will add to your own happiness. Go the next step. Choose to benefit others; not to save them from themselves, but to help them to help themselves. If do the former you could be disliked. If you do the latter, they will be empowered and you may or may not be liked, remembered or even thanked. That is not why you chose to help them to help themselves. The help you give is best if given without thought of reward or thanks. Your reward is knowing that you have the power and the opportunity to make a positive difference in someone’s life. When you are aware of your power you become more powerful. When you are aware of opportunities you attract more opportunities. That is your reward.
If you have a question, email me. I will read it and, if I’m not too busy, will reply.
